Why Does It Make Me Sad That Black People Think I'm A Wife Beater?

I have noticed the topic of misandry, and domestic abuse relevant in my life in two occasions. In the first case I was victim to women in the second case to both men and women. I'll try to keep this article on the topic but unfortunately black misandry and domestic abuse cannot be fully explained without adding racial science to the mix.

I am an african male born in Italy. I haven't been lucky to have good parents so I grew up in foster care on two occasions. From ages 6 - 10 and from 16 - 18.

I have always been attracted to women even though there's a group of bullies that project their insecurities and paint me as gay! If I was gay I would say it!

The type of woman I am attracted to is of Caribbean or Latin American descent. Because of the transatlantic slave trade allot of these women I'm attracted to categorically avoid dating black men like myself because we fall under the stereotype: Lazy, living hand to mouth, wife beater, woman beater, child beater, scammer, pagan, drug addict, hustler, not serious, demon, bad omen and the list goes on. 

Whenever I've tried to date a black woman,  I've always had pushback mainly from her family, brothers, cousins, uncles, and aunties. The excuse is the aforementioned: I'm probably lazy, living hand to mouth, wife beater, woman beater, child beater, scammer, pagan, drug addict, drug dealer, not serious, demon, bad omen and the list goes on. There is a possibility that I could be all of these things  ,but I know for sure it takes one to see one! I have dated two white women in my 35 year short life and I've been welcomed with flowers by both brothers, sisters, uncles, aunties, friends, cousins, and parents. I share no culture, DNA, language and experience with these white families but the experience has been wholesome! 

On my first Colombian voyage, a matriarchy, I was assaulted with knives, fire torches, tables, chairs, emotionally and financially. Our child from this relationship was victim of bullying by her grand parents, mother and aunties because she showed mostly African features rather than the thin black Colombian Indian nose, type 2c or 3c hair curl. The abuse was so much that I had to make provision for her to come and live with me in the United Kingdom. I left the Colombian missus with a beautiful chocolate, butter peacan, hazelnut baby girl, and in revenge got back an overweight beautiful chocolate 11 year old baby girl, but with layers and layers of abuse. 

I left that relationship because there was no space for growth. I always kept In touch with my daughter, frequent visits to London and Notting hill Carnival.

Did I learn my lesson about black families with black men?

On my Jamaican expedition it was the Africans I should have been warned about! This experience still haunts me till this day, and has set the precedent to all interactions with the Jamaicans.

I'm not a snowflake myself, but I avoid unnecessary threats especially to people I don't know! Well every boundary I could think about was crossed! Because word on the street was that I am: lazy, living hand to mouth, wife beater, woman beater, child beater, scammer, pagan, drug addict, drug dealer, not serious, demon, bad omen and the list goes on. So everything I say, do, touch, look, hear, knock "pon", stand next to is seen under this lens.

Guys I have finally understood why black men avoid dating black women. 

It's not worth the effort psychologically!

The reason is a couple years ago my wife went to one of her family summer events with a bruise on her thigh! 

Her excuse to family was that the night before she was out with her best friend, and for the love of her life can't remember where she got the scar from.

She mentioned it to me and I sarcasticly replied "looks like you got wasted".

The months that followed were a series of unwarranted provocations from her brothers, cousins, family and friends. 

Of course it's easier for black men to believe that another black man beats the lights out of their sister , "because?"

Because all black men and women believe  that deep down we're: lazy, living hand to mouth, wife beater, woman beater, child beater, scammer, pagan, drug addict, hustler, not serious, demon, bad omen and the list goes on.

It's obviously more plausible than a night out drinking and having fun with friends.

The final incident was on the 27th of December 2022 at just a random dinner at the black brothers house. 

He offered us carrot drinks, I politely highlighted that I'm lactose intolerant, and another thing I don't like is to be too picky in other people's houses, so I just said soy milk is fine. 

Guys soy milk makes my stomach run like Carl Lewis at the 1994 Olympics. Like a self fulfilling profecy I had to choose between the hosts toilet or home toilet.

I texted my wife, then fiancé, that it's an emergency and if we don't leave in the next 5 minutes they'll add "embarrassing" to the list on my awful CV. 

My  wife got carried away and I had to remind her!

From the corner of my eyes I connected the eyes of the white woman, wife to the black brother, staring at me with evil !

Ignored!

I still regret to this day what I experienced the next day at dinner in the pub!

It really makes me rethink dating black women because of their families!

It's not worth it psychologically, financially, physically, emotionally, morally, spiritually.

But like my wife always tells me: I love suffering! And I do! My wife is the only suffering I'm willing to tolerate because she's worth it.

I don't see myself as a victim but rather a researcher. My lab rats are black people. They never disappoint!

They obviously think I do drugs and then burst out in angry fits beating and shouting all over my daughter and obviously my wife too gets it! Why not! Because I am black to them, I'm not human, I'm not a father, I'm not a man.

I'm just black with all the negative stereotypes that come with blackness!

If you're trying to marry black or date black. kick yourself in the nuts first! If you enjoy it then you're ready to date into or marry into a black family.

There are versions of me in people's stories that would make Freddy Kruger pale in comparison.

If I beat my wife confront me!

If you think I disproportionately punish my daughter confront me!

But don't spin stories about us without knowing anything. And I'm aware it's not your business you're not interested in the back story, but as a man you're coming off a bit immature! 

You are comfortable living a life suspecting the worst never acting on it?

This is how I would approach the situation if I suspected someone was beating my sister: 

I would first ask my sister

And confirm with the husband, if the story sounds dodgy, he's getting a fat lip !

But the hate for black men, the misandry has to stop.

I hope this article makes us reflect on how subconsciously we've been trained to treat ourselves!

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Author

Campbell Kitts